Of Candy Hearts and Boring Days

BOOOOOOOOOOORRRRRRRREEEEEEEEEEEDDDDDDDDD

Your Candy Heart Says "First Kiss"

You're a true romantic who brings an innocent hope to each new relationship. You see the good in every person you date, and you relish each step of falling in love. Your ideal Valentine's Day date: a romantic dinner your sweetie cooks for you Your flirting style: friendly and sweet What turns you off: cynics who don't believe in romance Why you're hot: you always keep the romance alive

What Does Your Candy Heart Say?

Nothing to do. 2moro's LAN class is CANCELLED. Which would leave me a lot of time to study. And to atrophy my brains. And for my butt to stick to the chair. Ahhhhhhhhhh!!!!

The Truth of Reality

It hurts. The sadness of being alone even though surrounded by a crowd of people. The pain of not being understood. The loneliness of being left out by others. How could the world be so cruel? The flame that is my heart flickers. It is smothered by these feelings of loneliness, of sadness, of pain. How do I heal myself? When I do not know myself at all. I feel like I am falling deeper and deeper into a black hole...

I have changed. Made myself into something acceptable in other people's eyes. Why is it that I can't be myself? Must I always hide behind a mask? To be a puppet in this game of Life?

Reality is unreal. Life is just a fantasy, an illusion created. We are our own in our dreams, dreaming of our life. I await the time when this glass breaks, and I am released of my prison.

Until then... I shall endure this loneliness. Smile for the sake of others. Endure as my heart bleeds. Until the day I can be saved.

White Destiny
I'll reach out my hand freely to grasp destiny
There's no decided tomorrow
Even being quiet, I know that our meeting on that day wasn't by chance
In your distant eyes, I felt eternity
As the cold wind shines through the beautiful fading sunset
I just barely hear your soft voice
It hurts so much not being alone in my heart that my soul is made passionate
The proof that my feelings are alive starts from my belief
I'll be reborn as a new me in this sky that spreads into the endless future
I'll show you the snow of happiness falling all over the world, while holding your hand
The flower petals drifting in the water are chasing the distant moon
Farther than the dreams I used to see
On this journey full of unpleasant things, I gaze up at the blue sky alone
I don't want to lose because of being weak
The warm love and the future that I was searching for
Are with my feelings inside my heart
If I can only do one thing, even if I'm puzzled I want to grant this wish
That my beautiful heart will fall down and pile up over someone like snow
I'm confused, but I don't regret a thing. If we lead each other, I won't be afraid
At the touch of your hand on my sleeping form, I awaken

Rubbish for the Mind

6.00am Clock rings
6.48am Bus-stop
7.10am Hitch a ride
7.20am Crash at Inti
8.00am LAN class (Moral Ed.)
9.30am Surfing the internet
11.00am LAN class (Moral Ed.)
12.30pm Studying
1.00pm Lunchtime
1.30pm Chat with friend
3.00pm Studying
4.00pm Bus-stop
5.00pm Surfing

And that, dear folks, was today's timetable. Didn't really do much studying, despite staying back in college for that purpose. And nothing in Moral Ed. entered my thick skull as I was too busy reading Chocolat (movie stars Johnny Depp).

Talked to Kenny just a while ago. Apparently, according to him, I am... fierce? Hell, I need a total makeover. Throw away my attitude, clothes, life, soul and personality so that I can be a nice, sweet, mindless and opinion-less doll. (Disclaimer: This sentence is not based on any real-life person) I read through some of his forum's articles, i.e. Teen Love was a pretty interesting read, considering that the forum-goers were just 16 at time of publication.

I really, really, really need a MP3/MP4!!!!! With lots of memory, if possible, for the lowest price. (Hint, hint)

2 weeks until SAM is back on. I need entertainment. Preferably with someone exciting, though at a pinch I'd take anyone. Stalkers and uninteresting psychos need not apply. I am willing to do some sports, play pool, watch movies, go bowling, etc and etc.

Shrek 3 is coming out. Something to look forward to. Saw the trailer, where Shrek and Fiona were in court dress. Love the wigs.

Update

Date: Saturday 2 June 2007
Time: 12.30pm (to be confirmed)
Place: Sunway Pyramid
Activities: Lunch, Shrek 3, ....
Attendees: Mei Kim, Kuan Leong, Me (want to tag along? sms me)

Susah betul want to invite people to come... Wasted like 10 bucks to sms all this people, in the end they say cannot come...haiz... Sometimes I feel like strangling them. But then there's this problem of disposing the bodies, so...

Sunday Fever

Went totally crazy today. Woke up early in the morning to watch anime. Then read some papers. Then watched more anime. Cheated at Spider Solitaire. In the end I finally got bored of the comp as I just wanted to download more anime/manga.

And where is the crazy part, you say?

Answer: I was literally running about my house, dancing about and singing Japanese songs while strumming some invisible guitar. The songs were Romantic Summer, the ED of Seto no Hanayome and Raison d'etre and Danzai no Hana ~Guilty Sky~, the Claymore OP and ED. Pity my poor parents who had to put up with my screeching rendition of Danzai no Hana. Love teh songs though. It perfectly suits my mood and feelings.

Finally I gave up trying to read books and started sms-ing my friends. Invited 4 people for badminton, ended up with 3, including me. Me and Wei Vern played half-heartedly and laughed a lot. We saw Mandy at the park. Then Ken Hon came. Things started getting serious as the shuttlecock and jokes were tossed over the net. It was a 2 on 1 game, and it ended with Wei Vern whacking me with her racquet. Now my arm hurts like hell x(

The english version of the songs. Note that only half of each song is shown.

Raison d’etre
Ahh, traversing over many nights,
Frozen dreams and fading tears.
Woe me, woe me, love me!
I cannot love anyone,
But I hate myself, too.
I still don't see the end after walking this far,
Dragging along the memories of the past.
What color will this body be tainted by?
I search for that answer.

Danzai no Hana
My heart, still inside your memories
My body, not worth searching for
Once again, someone will be crying somewhere today
In order to live on with a cold smile on their face
Hanging on to things I cannot lose
I stand right here even now
Unwithering flowers are beautiful
Blossoming with determined thoughts inside of them
The guilty sky filled with torn clouds
I embraced this never-ending grief

Ah, how lovely. The sadness of this songs taints my pitiful soul.

And now to negate this negativity, I give you Romantic Summer in video...

Friday Nite Out

Finally managed to go out!!! Woot! Went bowling (played free cause I'm a Taylor's student!!! xP) watched Pirates of the Carribean: At World's End and then went to Kim Gary's for dinner. By the time I went home it was already 10.30 O.o

Bay was a really good host (Thx for the great night!!), saw Ting Yu's gf (such a sweet gurl), and tried to understand all teh Chinese talk that everybody was tossing around. Besides Bay and Ting Yu, the only other people I know were Ji Yung and So Gee (ex-classmates) and Loh. Not bad for an impromptu trip without any of my girlfriends xO.

Pirates 3 was kinda fun. Not bad if you watch it once, but by the second time I would start sleeping and by the third time I'd be shouting at the screen. The plot was still fuzzy, with double and triple and quadruple and...and...(ran out of words) dealings. Love Johnny Depp!! My No. 1 fav actor (he was soo cool in Chocolat and Edward Scissorshand).

About next Saturday's trip, so far JC and Mei Kim have confirmed. Please confirm with me by Tuesday, Steph, Kuan Leong, Ting Yu and Ji Yung. Anybody else interested in going please sms me or write in teh shoutbox.

Details:
Date: Saturday 2 June 2007
Place: Pyramid or Summit (for those who can't go far)
Time: 12.30pm (???)
Activities: Lunch and watch Shrek 3 (any other plans, feel welcome to add in)
RSVP

(Un)Lucky Girl...

Why the weird title? Because I'm feeling fatalistic, I guess. I'm constanly reminded all the time of how clumsy and careless I am, especially on the roads. Nobody knows how many times I've been on the brink of being a red stain on the road. If it wasn't for my friends (as they keep saying!), I'd be run over by a car, or a van, or a motorbike or some other high-speed object. Which would be actually quite true, as nowadays I seem to space out half the time.

The scariest incident I ever had was when I was bicycling on the main road. I misjudged the speed and distance of the oncoming car, and almost got hit. Luckily, nothing happened, although the driver did glare at me >.<

Well, I guess if one day you see my name in the obituary section of TheStar, or notice that I'm not at the bus stop waiting for the bus to college, then you'll know what happened. Just look out for a bright stain on the road, the last living memory of me.

PS: touch wood!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Terrible Thursday

The one day of the week when my depression, tiredness and emotional health hits rock bottom. Everything that has accumulated from Mon to Wed hits me on Thursday. The only silver lining in this depressive cloud is to look forward to the weekend and a chance to go out.

The Sun newspaper was blaring out about the Pirates of the Carribean 3 today.(Pirata del Caribe) I can't wait to watch it, and Shrek 3, when it comes out next week. Maybe I should do a movie marathon...

Is it possible to sneak out of one's own house? My mom has fastened her eagle (and evil) eyes on me. No going out unless my homework is done, until I tell her the 5W's (Who, What, Where, When, Why) of any trip. Sigh. It's at this time I really wish I was back in Spain. At least I could just walk out of the house.

This depression is really hitting me. I really should sleep it off or take anti-depressants before I start thinking of jumping off the building...

Firefox Problems

That's the message that popped up whenever I tried to access Blogger.com. Finally I used IE and the result is that I'm writing this post to all of you ghostly viewers out there. I know that I promised to post late Monday afternoon, but I was too lazy...(zzzzz)

It's Wednesday now, and half the week is gone. I'm getting more and more depressed, and rather harrassed. I think it's because I didn't do any activities last week, ie sports, or games, or going out. I've undergone a 180-degree change since last year, and all I wanna do is to go out with my friends at least once a week, no matter how small the activity. Although this wish is probably going to backfire on me in June when my class goes on their class trip (Gunung Nuang, 13 hours to the peak).

Concerning the blog, I will stick up some links and put up a shoutbox. When I feel like it. If I feel like it. Or maybe not.

The Continuation of Something Needless

Yeah, that's right. I'm back to continue my discontinued blog, on the sole reason that I'm bored. That aside, I'll post later, since I'm at college and classes is starting in 10 minutes. Watch out for my afternoon "i'm bored" post. Hah. Hasta luego.